OMG

the ept says positive!

i have wanted to be in this situation for 10 years now. married, with a job, living in a house, having babies. i didn't want to get pregnant until i had the first three. i got the last of the three when we bought our house 2.5 years ago. now convincing my husband that bringing a child into this world would be a glorious event was tough. he had his doubts. but on our anniversary, 1.5 years ago, he changed his mind and we got off the pill on august 1st, 2004. i thought since i was on the pill for 4 years it would take a while for the magical moment to happen. yep, probably two whole months.

when christmas of '04 came around i was disappointed but still believed that God was just waiting for the perfect time for us. on new years eve when i was still able to drink the night away we said, "this time next year we're either going to be pregnant or already have a child so we better live it up now!" when my birthday rolled around in july of '05 i started thinking it was all t's fault. his swimmers aren't swimming! when christmas of '05 finally got here it was then all on me. it was my fault, i believed. so when we were counting down the end of 2005 realizing we weren't pregnant or with child, as we predicted the year before, i decided to stop trying. it's just gonna be y0u and me, babe, till the end of time.

THEEEEN, i called my best friend-high school carpool member-college roommate of 5 years to say happy new year. she finally told me, i think she had been holding out on me, she was pregnant. i was SUPER excited for her! they had been trying for 6 months and now they were going to be having the CUTEST kid EVER! but at the same time i thought well now i HAVE to get pregnant. we have to have our kids the same age that would just be too perfect!

so the aggressive, take charge, get pregnant routine kicked in. i was using ovulation kits, counting my days, taking my prenatal like i was supposed to, got off all my diet/energy supplements, eating right and exercising regularly. the month of january produced nothing. then i went back into my we can't have kids thought process. so i gave up the aggressive routine. on january 13th my grandmother passed away. i said many prays for her to hurry on to heaven, to send grandpa lots of love and for the two of them to dance again. during my last prayer to her before leaving for the cemetary i asked her to, if she could, put in a good word to God that i would make one excellent mother. i felt a little guilty, thinking what a selfish prayer.

but here we are, february 18th. and the ept says positive!

proud andreea keep on burning, rolling on the river...

i finally cleaned the house today. once i got off the computer, i turned the tv on to one of those music channels. it took a while to pick which channel would get me in the cleaning mood. would it be rock, arena rock, classic rock or alternative rock? i eventually settled on the classic rock channel. but when i finally had the washing machine, dryer and dishwasher all going at once, i couldnt even hear my mood music.

i found out that lucy does not like the broom. her bark echoed throughout the casa with every sweep. i gently explained to her that if she didn't like the broom she should just leave the room. she came to her senses and went upstairs. the barking stopped, the dishwasher stopped and then i could hear ccr begin to echo throughout the casa.

creedence clearwater revival. that made me think of #2 from outback. one of the first things i learned about him was that he loves classic rock and i believe that is all he listens to on the radio. then that made me think of C from college. (i love how brains have these trains of thought and, when you have the time, how far they can take you.) C, i can't remember his last name, was one of the many boys i had a crush on in college. he too, loved classic rock. this boy still boggles my mind and i wonder what he's doing now.

he would not date me for two reasons. one, i didn't smoke pot. he would constantly remind me (as if it would make me change my 'just say no' campaign to 'just say yes') that he could never date someone that he couldnt smoke out with. and two, because i actually liked the music of today, er that day. he would walk into my apartment and have alanis morissette, 311 or blues traveler filter through his ears and get very agitated. he would tell me that he was trying to broaden my horizons, trying to expose me to the greatness of the rock that is classic! i was not following the beat of my own drum, blah blah blah, and blah blah. i tried the opposite approach and said that while his music was in fact great, i was trying to broaden his horizons to the current decade of greatness that was happening and that he was missing out on because he was stuck in the 70's. it didn't work. christmas break came. he went north and i went south for the holidays. after school started up again neither one of us even bothered to call.

he'll never know that if we had indeed made a connection, we could have had the best of both worlds.

post turkey high

yesterday was thanksgiving and i was thankful for many things. i was thankful for having the week off, thankful to be with family, thankful that greenbean casserole is so easy to make, thankful that there is only 3 weeks till our next break, and oh so many other things.

but im not so thankful that thanksgiving break must come to an end sometime. this week all i wanted to do was go to school and REALLY clean my classroom. more importantly clean off my desk and find what's piled underneath all those other piles. and also, get ready for my observation. it's scheduled for the anytime in the two week period after we get back from this lovely 9 day vacation.

however all i did do this week was anything but that. i did do a few good things though! monday and wednesday i helped my grandparents unpack a few things and paint their new bedroom in their new home. btw, i'm so happy they are moving over here, closer to the whole family. well, the whole family except for those living in minnesota and california and mcallen of course. since i was working so hard in the abuleo's new casa i put off cleaning the classroom for friday. today's friday. i had all intentions of going, i even got into the car and everything. but that's when i realized i didn't have my classroom keys. i looked everywhere and can't find them. so here i am. really i have monday because my observation window doesn't open until tuesday. and i think im okay with this situation. i work better under pressure anyway. and i know this man...

today i've added to my list of 43 things and re-ordered my 21 goals. i've done a few things off today's to-do list minus the whole cleaning of the classroom part. and hey at least i'm out of my pj's!

love thy neighbor

why is it that most teachers are the worst at the exact things we expect out of our students?

most school have some sort of character building concept going on. we have six traits the students are expected to follow. the first is responsibility. the students should remember all supplies, homework, binder, etc. teachers have a responsibility also. we have to grade papers in a timely manner and return them as well. why is that so hard?! i'm very relieved to know that i'm not the only one! recently the district added a sinister little link on the website. parents can now look at the teachers gradebook online! i'm haunted by this parent portal daily!

another character trait is self discipline. we expect students to raise their hand, listen attentively to the speaker whoever it may be, work without disturbing others and so on. try sitting in a meeting, conference, any kind of gathering for that matter where teachers are the audience! we are the worse kind of audience. we talk when the speakers speaking, sometimes on topic, most of the time not. we are disturbing everyone around us. when we are listening others are disturbing us with their whispers.
have i complained enough?

no, because that reminds me of another trait. respect. i have seen and heard so much high school behavior this year! people talking behind other peoples back and now all i want to know is whats being said about me behind mine. too many women in one building. my goodness. i try not to talk about other people but i find it very hard not to listen! :)

ahhh im glad i found an outlet to let it all out. i was feeling the urge to say all that at the next faculty meeting. not exactly the smartest idea i would have had this year.